A very martha Halloween

I don't know what happened, one minute I am looking at the lame "cat" costumes at walmart and the next minute I am barreling down the craft section saying "Twenty bucks for those, screw that! I can make it myself!" It was some bizarre moment of insanity where I thought I was the next Martha Stewart! I have sewn 2 things in my life a pillow and a pair of boxers, both in middle school. Before you ask, Yes! I am a moron!


            A GUIDE TO MAKE A COSTUME LIKE AN IDIOT

Gather your materials: black shirt, black pants, black felt, pink felt, scissors, headband, weird fuzzy boa thing, hot glue gun just sort of appeared at your house, and the inserts from and old push up bra (what? It's called upcycling!) Don't forget your cup of coffee! You're gonna need it!

Carefully make a "pattern" so that all the ear pieces are the same. Hold back a little profanity when they still all look a little different. Why is there a tab at the bottom? Cause I am genius and designed a flap to wrap around the head band. These masterpieces can't be falling down!

Put the pieces with the tabs down first and then cut the bra padding in half and put on top. Then take the hot glue gun that you bought/borrowed/stole? and glue all around the edges. Quickly throw on the top piece and pinch the edges together to seal.  When your finger tips are seared off, you know they are pressed together enough

Tell your child not to touch the glue gun or anything around it 40 times and then watch in horror as they touch a still hot glue blob.  It also would be smart to notice that your glue gun has 2 settings: hot and molten lava.  Switch it back to hot and it will stop smoking as it pours out and won't hurt so badly ( at least you can rob a house and leave no traces of finger prints now!)

[Please note the size of the ice chunk does not indicate size of injury. Someone just enjoys playing with ice]

Cut out little pink triangles and glue them on to the "ears"  Then wrap the tabs around the head band and glue it all together.  If you happen to only have one stick of glue and need something to push the last bit of glue, you can jam your pinky into the hole and push it through, cause you aren't a quitter! And too lazy to go back to the store. (This living on the edge, pinky work is also the reason I don't have any pictures of those steps. Just use your imagination!)

To complete the look, cut off a chunk of the feather boa, find random string in the house, tie the string to the "tails" and tie the string around your poor child's waist.  Thank goodness she is too young to know any better!

This project has an added bonus! It helps you weed out your friends. If they tell you that you did a good job or it looks cute, you can cross them of the list of friends who will give you an honest answer. These people will not tell you your butt looks huge in your jeans and will let you walk around with an awful haircut!!

The best part of all this is that she wore these for about 20 minutes at the Church harvest festival and then I accidentally snapped the head band part trying to adjust something and she went trick or treating as a princess. If you ever see me running around the craft with material or felt, feel free to smack me up side my head and drag me out of there.