Dear Nathan

Dear Nathan,
  
     I just ate your candy and I'm not even sorry at all! You made me do it! We just had that conversation AGAIN! It happens about every other day and it always goes something like this:

Nathan: Do yous got a baby in your belly?
Me: No, only Aunt Kristen and Kerri have babies in their bellies
Nathan: You DO have a baby in your belly
Me: No, I don't
Nathan: You wook like you dos! See? *points at my stomach*
Me: *puts down the brownie*
        *stares at workout clothes*
        * picks up the brownie*
        *puts down the brownie*
        * contemplates buying 21 day fix extreme*
         * eats two brownies*

    And yes, Mommy knows that you are just obsessed because you have a new cousin on the way and your best buddy is going to be a big brother. I could probably have six pack abs (and pigs would fly) and you would still ask me, but dude, in the words of Sydney, SERIOUSLY!?!
   You are probably thinking that all of the above does not seem like reason enough to steal your candy, and you are right. That was just the icing on the cake. Oh wait, I shouldn't use that saying! It's too gross! Here is a little story that I will sharing at your wedding:

    It was just a typical summer afternoon and you and your sister wanted to swim.  We ran out of swim diapers, but you are supposed to be potty trained for preschool so I thought we would be fine.  Everyone tells me that letting you pee outside is the key to training boys ( I should probably find all of them and steal their candy too!) I told you not to pee in the pool and to pee in the grass. (Yes, just like Uncle DJ's dog.)  We went outside and you took off your bathing suit and started running around. You do that a lot so I wasn't worried.  Then you proudly announced that you pooped outside like a dog. YOU POOPED OUTSIDE LIKE A DOG! But clearly not a well behaved dog because you pooped on the patio! I.... did you....how come..... WHYYYYYY???? What goes on in that little brain of yours? Even as I type this, you found a boogie on your cheek and put it on my cheek! Again, WHHHHHYYYYYYY???
    All that's left to say is I love you, my strange little man. I CAN NOT wait until you have children! I will buy you a candy of the month club subscription because you are definitely gonna need it!!

love,
your mommy who must go sanitize her cheek... thanks again for that gift!