Ok, a quick recap: the dishwasher was broken and our chances of forming an arranged marriage for Nathan were slim to none (with his hilly billy chipped teeth grin and AWOL balls.)
Wednesday: I survived two dentists appointments is opposite directions. Nathan's teeth were fine. Syd's routine cleaning went well, except for the dentist telling her to ask God to put a baby in my belly if she wants another sibling. Hey, Lady I just met, how about we talk about flossing and not my uterus! Anyway, I had a meeting that night for my MOPs group. It was at someone's house and I was nervous because I was born without a sense of direction. I do best when I keep it under 2 turns! I was doing well and then there were a couple of sharp turns that just looked like a pointy blob on my GPS. I totally missed it and the GPS B-word must have been fed up with my inability to follow her directions. She should have said "recalculating to find the most obscure way back to the correct road!" She chose these super small windy roads that seemed deserted except for a few random hikers walking in the opposite lane. I kept thinking this is how horror movies begin! Did I remember to tell my children I loved them? Clearly, I should have packed my passport because I had a feeling I was going to end up in a different country! 20 minutes later, I am back on the right road and supposedly at my destination. This "chick" must still be pissed because the place that she is telling me is correct, is NOT. I drive through the cluster of houses trying to read the house numbers, but since the journey to the end of the earth and back took so long, it's really dark and I couldn't see. After going around 3 more times I gave up. I was probably about 20 ft away from the meeting and still couldn't find it! I have some serious skills!
Thursday: My stomach was twisted in about a million knots. It was time for the urology appointment. I made Stephen come with me. Obviously, out of the two of us, he was the expert in this area. It didn't take long for us to be sent back. The doctor was extremely nice and listened as I explained everything. He told me to put Nathan on the table and had him sit "criss crossed applesauce" and there they were in their full glory. He showed us a muscle that you can touch and it makes the testicles retract. The doctor told us he was perfectly fine and it's common for them to retract and they can be harder to find if the boy is chubby. That's it? I was worrying about future grandchildren and hoping he didn't need his balls sewed to his leg (yup, that's a horror story someone shared) and all they needed to do was sit him down! Great, we just spend $50 to learn how to make testicles jump. There's a great party trick that I will never be able to use!
Friday: I was ready to sing and dance like in the movies. No more doctors appointments! It was going to be a nice relaxing day. Ha! You fool! Syd sat on the potty and then whined and told me she couldn't pee pee because it hurt. I kept asking her about it and she kept insisting it hurt. Oh no! I called the doctor's office as soon as it opened to schedule an appointment, hoping it's not a UTI. Less than 10 minutes later, she goes to the bath room and is perfectly fine. I was pretty sure this was one of those weird situations where there might have been something bothering her but the power of suggestion made her story grow. (How do you question toddlers/preschools without putting things in their head?) I don't want "bad mom" scribbled some where in their charts, so I don't cancel the appointment after the receptionist says, "are you sure you don't want to bring her in just to be safe?" I told Syd she was going to have to pee in a cup so I had to spend the whole drive arguing that cups are for peeing in when you are at the doctors. We got there and I got to round out my awesome week by kneeling next to a toilet in the doctors office holding on to Syd and trying to get her to pee. She didn't have a UTI and her lady parts were fine, but she had picked up a little virus at school that given her a fever.
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