You have given birth and discovered how "beautiful" it is and you've tackled breastfeeding, the most "natural" thing in the world. Now it's time to unwrap that baby shower gift you have been hiding in the closet. You get the concept but aren't exactly sure how it's going to work! You bust out your breast pump and.......
WHAAAAAAAAAAAA????????
What is that contraption? That goes there? Should they look like that when your done? Is it suppose to sound that loud? What is that for?
First of all, give yourself a pat on back for even considering pumping! It can seem quite intimidating at the beginning and unlike breastfeeding, there ain't nothing natural about this, unless you happen to be a dairy farmer and then it's a bit of strange of deja vu and irony! Now that you have images of Frankenstein and lightening striking in the background, let me tone down the dramatic flair I've got going on here. It seemed overwhelming at first but I worked out a routine and it was pretty much easy sailing! It actually became enjoyable quiet "me time" as crazy as that sounds!
If you are going to use it for more than the occasional break, GET A DOUBLE ELECTRIC PUMP! Way faster and more efficient! If you are going to be pumping at work, be loud and proud! I am pretty sure that 75% of the employees at my job knew that I had to pump. I had to tell the chef or sous chef where I was going and a line cook or dishwasher needed to know that they might have to plate desserts. The servers had to know so their dessert orders weren't forgotten. The day shift and evening shift at the front desk knew. They would have to block off the room I was using so they didn't give it away to a guest ( YIKES!) Some housekeeping knew because they would have to double check the rooms after I was done. Sometimes the painters had to know so they didn't decide to touch up a room that I was in. All of this made it practically public knowledge and I didn't get all tense thinking someone would stumble upon me and have a heart attack! It also made me so comfortable about it. People asked me questions it all the time ( hence the title) and it made pumping no a big deal. It's too much work to keep it a secret!
Several people have asked me for tips so I figured that I would just list them as they came to me:
* Buy extra membranes (those little flappy things that cover the holes) I had one go down the drain. They also wear out and tear. A tear equal less suction and less milk. Nooooooooooooooo!
* Keep some hand sanitizer with you. It makes it easier to keep your hands clean without having to run back and forth to the bathroom over and over again
* Always pack more than enough bottles. One side might have gotten neglected last time your baby ate and it could be overflowing!
* Lock the doors, check to make sure they are locked, double check, go back one more time and maybe put a chair against it. It's really not that bad and the world won't end if someone sees ( I accidentally flashed a guy in the car next to us on the way to a Wiggles concert while pumping) but you will be less tense and that helps you pump more milk
*Get everything situated around you first! There is nothing worse than starting to pump and realizing your phone or remote is across the room! That makes for a super boring 10 minutes!
* Take a deep breath, relax and look at photos or videos of your baby. Tension makes your boobs freeze up and thinking about your baby gets your brain to signal to your boobs (or something like that)
*Once you're situated and everything is working properly, don't look down! Stop constantly checking to see how much you are pumping! You will stress yourself out! And the girls probably don't want you to see them this way :)
* Stress is not good for milk production. Okay, and neither is stressing about stressing. This is way I am a crazy person! But try to be calm! No matter what days I worked, whenever I did 3 in a row, I always pumped less on the 2nd day. I was more stressed that day. First day is not so bad, you get out of the house. Third day you are in the home stretch. The middle day, I was tired and stressed about facing another day!
* Pump for at least ten minutes! Milk might stop flowing after several minutes. DO NOT TURN IT OFF! You have a second let down of milk. There is even a button you can push to encourage it to start. (Someone figured out about the different types of sucking that happens to get milk to let down and the type when the baby is eating and recreated it with the pump. Hate to have that job!)
*After the second let down is over, still keeping pumping for a minute or two. Pumps are never as efficient as babies and this encourages your boobs to keep producing
*Pump when the baby would normally be eating so you don't mess up the whole supply/demand thing. I was crazy about it with Syd, but the second time I took a chill pill and didn't panic if I was 20 minutes behind schedule. The world didn't end
* Water, water, water! Make sure you are drinking enough water! Also if you feel your supply dip, eat oatmeal! There is also tea you can drink. Gross, but works wonders!
* If you have a baby shark and he/she breaks through the skin, you can put a little waterproof medical tape over the wound AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T BLOCK A DUCT! Blocked ducts lead to some horrific stuff! You can also put ointment on it after your pump. It's wiped off by the time you pump again
*According to the lactation consultant I talked to, a little bit of blood is okay. The baby might spit it up and it will look like coffee grinds. If you've got what looks like strawberry milk with extra strawberry powder, toss it out and then cry a little;)
* Final warning! If you are pumping and a bat flies into the room. Just stop! Don't try to cover yourself with a near by blanket! It doesn't help! Don't be an idiot! The terror will make you dry up like the sierra desert! It would also be a good thing to make sure your nursing tank is back in place before you crawl to the door with a blanket over your head and then hold the front door open. Or so I've heard! Nothing like that would happen to me!
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