I got a lot of responses from the first one and several people told me they couldn't wait for this one. I am suddenly feeling a lot pressure to say something profound and funny. I wasn't really planning much for this just wanted to mention things with Nathan and felt people probably don't want to read that much about my boobs all in one sitting! So can you lower your expectations a little bit? Okay, great, now lower them some more! Let me add another disclaimer! I am not a professional or expert! I got lots of advice from different people, if I tell you something wrong, blame them! Don't yell at me, I'll give you their numbers ;)
Baby number two.... I was so ready! Shield packed in the bag for the hospital and pump sanitized and ready to roll! This momma was going to conquer every possible breast feeding problem! Much to my surprise, Nathan latched like a champ! He ate so quickly that I was worried that he wasn't getting enough. When people started dropping off meals and their jaws dropped at his monstrous size, I realized he was just a breastfeeding master. (He is so killing me when he is older and finds this!)
Even though Nathan was the world's loudest baby and scared Syd and always wanted to be held, life was easier. I could feed him here. I could feed him there. I could feed him in a chair. I could feed him everywhere! I forgot one thing though! Unlike Syd, Nathan had never touched a bottle. He barely used a pacifier. The end of my maternity leave was creeping up on me! With only about 2 weeks left, I realized that we should try a bottle.
I pulled out Syd's old bottles and thought these worked so well for her, he will be fine too. If you have been reading this blog, you know how things go in my life. You see where this is going! He wanted NOTHING to do with the bottle and our whole town heard about it!! I didn't panic right away because I knew some times it took a couple of tries. We tried and tried! Stephen would try to feed him downstairs and I would be upstairs pacing like a caged animal. My baby was screaming! I kept coming down to try and tell Stephen how he must be doing it wrong. My nagging and the constant screaming would make him frustrated. I couldn't handle it and I was like an angry mama bear and snatched my baby back. I created such marital bliss! HEY, PAY ATTENTION! THAT WAS SARCASM WITH A WARNING! DON'T BE A PSYCHO MAMA BEAR! We tried all different times during the day. My mom came over to try during her lunch break. I took Syd out on the porch ( babies have boob radar! You need to really leave) and my mom tried. Oh the screaming! I just sat on the porch with tears streaming down my face. My mom eventually came down looking like she had been to hell and back and profusely apologized about not having success and having to go back to work. The poor woman even had my breast milk on her pants from when she tried to switch bottles while holding the little gremlin. I was in full panic and had to email my bosses and ask for extra time off and a slower start back into my schedule. I felt like I was going to throw up because I was so stressed out! Mom guilt was CRUSHING me! I should have never spent any money on myself and saved it all. Why did I go to the movies that one time in 2010 and buy a soda? All of those times I chose the fancy gum instead of the cheaper brands. I'm so selfish! Now I have to work and my baby is going to starve to death! World's worst mom! It seems that my philosophy is, when it comes to freak outs is "go big or go home!" Let's set the crushing working mom guilt aside for now and stick with the story.
I extended my leave and went searching for answers through pleading facebook statuses and hours spent in the Church nursery. I got tons of suggestions. You basically have to try everything until you find the one thing that works for YOUR baby. Oh and stay as calm as possible while you do it and you need to find this balance of getting them to try but not getting them upset or stressed. Riiiiiight! That will be totally easy! Well, it did at some point because I was at work when this all was going down! Anyway, we didn't do them all but here are some things people told us to try
Try tons of different bottles with different nipples.
-Some are shaped like boobs and have a similar familiar flow and suction.
Maybe you are a fire hose and they are used to a faster flow.
Try a nipple shaped like his/her pacifier and pull a fast one.
Try a syringe or dropper as a gateway tool.
They might associate you with meals and accept a bottle from you.
Leave the whole day and force them to give up the protest.
Give the poor unfortunate soul with your baby, one of your shirts. One that's full of your smell!
-Shouldn't be hard to do, you are probably behind on laundry ;)
Try a bottle of formula since it's not a food they associate with you.
If they won't do the bottle, get them to power feed before work.
-Those little buggers sometimes figure this out on their own.
The dreaded day came and I had to return to my part time job. We bought lots of different bottles and said some prayers. Stephen could tell if he was arriving at bottle time by the screaming he heard on the street. For the first couple of months, Nathan usually refused the first bottle and only took an ounce or two the second time ( just enough to sustain him through the screaming.) Can we please have a moment of silence for all the wasted breast milk that ended up down the drain? Am I kidding? No, I am serious as a heart attack. If you've ever pumped, you know that it is indeed a tragedy! You should have a lone tear streaming down your face at just the thought! If you find yourself in this situation, I recommend storing your milk in 2 oz bottles. They can always grab more if they need it and less is wasted. Also, know that your baby will adjust and instead of giving you a long stretch at night, they eat! Throw those sleep training books out the window for a while! Your baby needs to make up the difference somehow. Before you get all depressed, think about the benefit! You are still pumping a lot at work but the baby isn't eating as much and the baby is eating at night. That means extra milk and extra calories burned and that equals eating more cookies to self medicate!! If you need to catch up on your sleep, you can have someone bring your baby to you. Several times, Nathan would make a trip to the Inn to fill up. It worked pretty well for me because he was a fast eater, but I think it's still is worth it for one feeding even if they take longer.
Because of the lack of sleep and extra feedings, my memories seem to be a bit foggy! Either that or my brain blocked out the trauma! Eventually, he learned that although I loved him very much, Mommy had to go to work and this bottle thing wasn't so bad. Gradually, he found a bottle he tolerated and protested less and ate more. Hang in there, if you are having the same struggles! If your precious little gremlin takes longer than a couple of months, remember cereal and solids are right around the corner. You can arrange their schedule so they get most of their solids when you are at work.
Now, back to the crushing working mom guilt! Yipee! I figured I should try and talk a little about it because this brought on a huge heaping dose of it!! Everyone has a different situation. Some can get by on one income and some can't. Some moms NEED to work for sanity. We all have different strengths and provide our kids with different amazing things. Some days, I want to cry when I leave the house. (Some days, I am running out the door so glad that I don't have to play Barbies again!) I have to remind myself of all the positives. They get to spend extra time with their grandparents when they babysit. Those are memories that will last them a lifetime. They also get quality time with Stephen. I love that when I go out for a girl's night, I don't have to leave lots of instructions or take care of the bedtime routine. I just yell, "peace out" and go! If you send your kids to daycare, they are one step ahead of the game for school and socialization. Try to combat the guilt by putting a positive spin on things! One day, this shall pass and you will feel guilty about something else. Life as a mom!
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