Okay, I promise to get back to our semi regularly scheduled weirdness after this slightly different post. It still has a lot to do with motherhood and my crazy life.
Having a mini me can be awesome. I can not wait until Sydney is older and we can come up with all the crazy, funny plans together. It was one of the greatest moments ever when Syd and I blurted out the EXACT SAME WRONG SONG LYRICS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME! It was goofiness in stereo. I was proud. It can also break your heart when you watch your mini me struggle with the same things you struggle with. You understand the fear and anxiety so perfectly well. It kills you a little bit because they inherited it from you. Sydney is extremely nervous in new situations or situations where it is not 100% comfortable. Sometimes she is too nervous to try or do things because she doesn't want to make a mistake. She sits on the sidelines or clings to me. I struggle with knowing what to do. I know what thoughts will be running through her head if we try to push her. Pressuring or unintentional bullying will not breed confidence. I don't want to let her give in to those fears either. I turned out alright in the end but we always want better for our kids. I finally realized that the best way to teach her to be brave is to show her... Set an example!
*cringes* *cries* *freaks out* *tries to ignore it* *curls into a ball* I really wanted to pretend that there was a better way, but when your babies need you...
2017: The Year of Uncomfortable Awkwardness (and fondly looking back at my cozy little comfort zone)
Why did I choose to become a Beachbody Coach, besides the fact that it's basically stuffing myself into a cannon and shooting me, flailing through the sky so far away from my comfort zone? I've been using the programs and Shakeology for over a year and a half now. I love it. It works for me.It's become part of my daily life. Muscle are appearing!?! I've been looking at posts and watching other coaches and wishing that I could do that, but I told myself I wasn't good enough. Deep down inside, there is still a little bit of the kinda chubby kid who will probably be one of the last picked for a team in gym class. I still remember ummm "forgetting" to do a lap for the mile run in high school gym because most people were done already. ( I know! Bad Jamie! ) I kept telling myself that I needed to reach some level of near perfection or I'd look like a fraud. It was making me sad and icky inside. One night when I was particularly sad, I was half standing in the pantry closet, picking out the bunches of oats out of Stephen's Honey Bunches of Oats and inhaling them. (YEP! I'm a MONSTER! I left him with a box full of sadness! The bunches are the best part!) I finally looked at myself and said this is STUPID! I'm being DUMB! I made myself reach out to my coach and started asking questions. She helped me see that I had nothing to lose by trying. Sometimes (All. of. the. time.) I can be a moron. It's time to banish the gym class fearing kid and tell my brain to shut it! First of all, perfection is lame. I don't know why I thought I had to be the perfect expert. I created this whole mom blog to be open about my imperfections because I realized sometimes the best help is the "hey, we're stumbling through this together and I care and you're not alone" encouragement. I can do the same with someone trying to get healthy and strong. Second of all, if I could get my old gym teacher to give me a Presidential Fitness Test redo, I would nail it! I did 21 day fix and then moved up to 21 day fix extreme. Then a couple of weeks ago, I decided to switch it up. Cardio is still challenging for me and I hate it so I went with Insanity Max 30!?! My current goal is to just not die! It's sooo challenging for me, like FOR REAL! But I'm gonna keep trying until one day I'm not just surviving.
I'm absolutely terrible at sales so you don't have to worry about me pushing this on you. If you have ever been curious but don't want to ask because you're worried about being pressured. Come ask me! I won't pressure you because I don't think I even have it in me to try, I'd just start sweating a lot. Plus, I know that you need to be ready to commit. You can be scared and clueless and want to throw up when you say yes, but you need to at least whisper, "it's time for change and I'm going try this!" I'm great at encouraging so I can help you along the way and get to you saying, "Hey, I've got this! Now somebody help me up the stairs! It was leg day!" My encouragement will probably be like this because being weird is kinda my thing;)
And have no fear, I'm not abandoning or changing the pastry chef thing. If you're gonna cheat and treat yo self, it better be worth the extra calories! There are still birthday and wedding cakes and special desserts for you when you go out to eat, but I will not be eating all the scraps and brownie trimmings.
Here is my website link which is still a work in progress and needing photos because technology is not my thing and I'm still in the overwhelmed but excited phase:
Beachbodycoach.com/JLFord83
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