Sunday, July 19, 2015

How to unsuccessfully cut sugar out of your life

As most of you know, because you all love to ask me why I am not huge (#pastrychefproblems), I rarely eat a whole dessert except for ice cream.  You kinda get tired of cake after you bake your one thousandth one.. That doesn't mean that my body isn't made up of about 40% simple syrup! Back in March, I started the 21 day fix. The sugar detox went surprisingly well! And then I started falling off the wagon a little bit when life got a little crazy. I started eating "cleanish" and considered myself not on the clean eating wagon but not completely off..... More like dragging along in back holding onto a twizzler rope. Here are some tips on how you too can be unsuccessful at cutting out sugar. Before I start, let me mention that it's about 80% thinking outside the box!

* Love your Children: Their adorableness makes them candy magnets at parades. You care about their health so you need to get rid of a few pieces if you catch my drift! I mean sure you could cut back on the number of parades you go to since they hate the sound of the fire trucks and don't want to go anyway but.... You're making memories!


* Love your Spouse:  Sometimes being home ALL DAY with your kids is tough. They're all like "where did all the tootsie rolls from the parade go?" Then you're all like, "I have no idea!" *picks chocolate flavored roll of survival out of teeth* The crying goes on and on and on! Stealing that massive spoon of ice cream or cutting off a little bit of brownie and then another and then another and then another and then the final piece is the most delicious way to relieve the frustration of the day instead you know, wanting to take it out on your poor unsuspecting spouse!


*Love your Friends: Friends don't let friends eat sugar alone. Now if they are just eating sugar because you are then..... Shhh!! I won't tell!

*Quality Control: You need to taste stuff before you serve it to others. ( Especially when you are experimenting with new recipes or new menus! Lord help me on New Menu days!!) If you take pride in your work, then you better make sure you are 110% satisfied with the unhealthy fruits of your labor! Mmm... I want I bite of apple crisp or two!

* Strive for Improvement: My ice cream flavor brainstorming has been on point lately! Kahlua brownie chunk! Strawberry shortcake with bite sized pieces of pound cake! Peanut butter s'mores ! You must collect several samples throughout the batch to make sure the flavors combine perfectly!

* Don't be Wasteful: You're eating plain Greek yogurt and it tastes like sadness! (Try adding some frozen blueberries that have been slightly thawed and it's only mildly tastes like disappointment) Your child has left 3 or 4 bites of their flavored yogurt. You can't let it go to waste. Another example is the crust of their PB&J sandwich. Well, at least it's whole wheat, right?? Well, I mean you might have spread the jelly real close to the edge because you know the crust will be rejected even when they say it won't, but......


AND FINALLY, IT'S NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY! So eat some ice cream and vow to reset your diet tomorrow with me!!!!!!!'

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