my personal bubble

Sometimes I just want to jump up and down on the couch, throw my hands up in the air and scream  

  EVERYONE STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!

    Now let me explain before you decide I am some cold hearted monster! I LOVE snuggling with my kids! It's the best when they curl up in your lap.  I give my kids too many kisses because I know that one day they will hate it and won't let me.  Scared and want to sleep next to me? I don't care if I have two inches of space on the mattress and my neck is at a 45 degree angle. Have to sit on my lap while I pee? I am not paying for the therapy they will need later, but I just sigh and say ok. When Nathan just HAS to be held in the grocery store, I hold him and steer the stupid cart one handed. It's like driving a tractor trailer with your feet, but I just roll with it. When I had to hold Syd when she napped, my arm would fall asleep, then hurt, then feel absolutely nothing, and then pain again, but I would push through for her.  When they treat Mommy like their own personal jungle gym, I want to go crazy!
     Sometimes I am just sitting or kneeling trying to do something and it's like kids are falling from the sky. They are on my head pinning my chin to my chest and forcing to balance them so they don't fall. They also throw themselves over my shoulder, nearly knocking me over. Other times they are spun around in my lap and feet are hitting me in the face and knees and elbows are jabbing random organs.  The worst is when they push the back of their heads into my face. My glasses are all crooked and this close to becoming contacts and my nose is completely flat. They do it all the time!!!!
    They also have that crazy kiddo martial arts move that I call the rolling heel of death.  They walk and/or climb on you and their heel slips and rolls over your bones, pinning and pinching any flab to the floor.  It's especially effective with the underside of your arms and legs!  And they have selective hearing when you tell them to get off. Either that or the shooting pain causes you to speak in tongues.
    Another move that practically causes my eye is twitch is the lunch time lap move. I finally sit down with my lunch after customizing everyone's menu and they both have to sit in my lap. No, it's not cute and no, it's not because they love me! It's a power struggle and I am just a pawn in their game. If one makes a move, the other has to follow.  Suddenly, I am balancing a wiggly kid on both knees. I am MILES away from my food.  Half of it falls off the long journey from the plate, through the jabbing shoulder valley, and onto the floor.  A girl can only overlook so many cat hairs and play dough bits stuck on her food.
   While we are talking about meals, let's talk about trying to make dinner.  Nathan will always be busy playing and not give two craps about me, until he senses a disturbance in the force. I am about to make dinner. He becomes the most needy kid on the planet and clings to me as if his life depends upon it.  There is no reasoning with him and no way to peel him off.  He grabs my legs so tightly that my pants start falling down. Now I have to decide between keeping dinner from burning and having my granny panties exposed (yeah, that's what you wear when you are a mom in sweat pants at home all day!) 
     Okay vent over!  I love them to death even if they leave me with bruises and a possible broken nose ;)