So this was suppose to be for Valentines day, but computer difficulties and mental anguish from so much freaking snow have delayed it. Here is a little something from before Stephen and I were dating. I can't believe that I am sharing this! So much for letting you think that motherhood has made my life this crazy.
What's a girl to do when she has a crush on someone but she is too awkward and shy to make a move. She convinces her parents to get a new computer so he can come over and set it up for them. Stop laughing at me! I know I am such a dork! I wasn't very bold back then! And don't feel bad for my parents! Their computer was ancient and they still have this one so I'd say they got their money's worth!
Anyways, the day he was coming over, I needed to make banana tarts for a Church dinner that night. It was a perfect opportunity to show off those newly acquired pastry chef skills. (Such false advertisement! He gets squat now! I kinda feel guilty about it) He came over and starting working in the family room that is right next to the kitchen. I threw the tart shell into the oven to partially bake and started chatting with Stephen. After a few minutes, I went to check the oven. Oops! For some strange reason, I didn't put the tart pan on a sheet tray. It was one of those pans where the bottom pops out and I heard a drop of butter slip through the crack and onto the bottom of the oven. Well, it can't be that much so it should be fine. CURSE YOU, RESTAURANT SCHOOL PATE SUCREE RECIPE! About 5 minutes later I detect the hint of something burning! I start to open the door and a little bit of smoke comes out! I quickly slam the door and have a silent freak out. Lots of butter melted out and dripped to the bottom of the oven. My mom came in and saw the wild look in my eyes and I explained the situation as quietly as I could. The tart only had a few minutes left and we figured that if we turned the exhaust fan on high, it would be OK! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Like 2 minutes later the smoke detectors go off. How freaking embarrassing!! There I was standing on a chair flapping my arms like an idiot to get it to go off.
Now at this point a normal person would call it a day and pick up something on the way to dinner, but not this idiot! I had to keep going! The only problem was that there was all this burnt butter on the bottom of the oven. The oven was still so hot and for whatever reason I couldn't wait. My dad saved the day by volunteering to clean it. He had to wear these huge welding gloves. It was insane! Of course Stephen was so distracted by the chaos that he had to come over to watch. What a way to make an impression!
After everyone got there jokes in, I finished assembling the tart, grabbed a sheet tray because I learned my lesson, right !?! Here is where I would like to say that I redeemed myself and got to chat it up with Stephen, amazed him with my baking skills, and banana tarts are his favorite to this day. But this is me we are talking about! When life hands me a lemon, I gotta go back and get grab enough lemons so the whole world can enjoy some lemonade at my expense. I, being the biggest stupid idiot on the planet, put the darn tart on a sheet with no sides on it! Of course the filling oozed out and rolled straight off the edge and burned like it was it's job. The smoke levels were off the charts. I just had to finish this stupid thing because despite the burning all around it, the tart itself was baking beautifully!
Let's draw a little mental picture here. Laying on the kitchen table are the huge welder gloves. Hanging from the ceiling are detached smoked detectors. You can hear the loud hum of fans were placed at the open front and back doors ( My dad is a super genius problem solver). Unfortunately, they work well but can't keep up because smoke was so thick that I can only make out the fuzzy edges of the outline of the dog. (You think that I am making it up, but I am as serious as a heart attack!) Stephen's eyes are blood shot and burning from all the smoke. I have a case of what I like to call the nervous sweats and I feel like my face is on fire. How did I not die on the spot!
The rest of the details are a little fuzzy, but I know the tart came out fine. And I really can't believe that I was surprised that I couldn't convince him to come to the Church dinner so he could try that tart!
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