I HATE WINTER!! I am so over the snow! I am sitting inside, growling at the piles of white evil keeping me and my kids trapped inside. I have already begun counting the days left until vacation. The only way to make it through the chilliness is to dream about the beach and sun. I can't seem to block out the trip home from vacation though. I try, oh how I try to block it from my memory! I don't know why, maybe it's the mountains of laundry waiting for me, lack of sleep, too much fun in the sun, or sand stuck in every crack and crevice, but I seem to be a slightly tanned shell of my former self. It's hard to explain. Let me paint you a picture of the trip down and the trip back.
Outer Banks or Bust:
While I am not a type A mama, I am like a possessed woman who finds way too much joy packing. I write lists weeks in advance and plan everyone's wardrobes and start setting aside clothes as they show up in the laundry. It's sick and twisted, I know, there is nothing better than a well packed suitcase in a well packed car! Speaking of packed cars. I have a bag of toys perfect for traveling set in between the car seats near the diaper bag stuffed with extra absorbant nighttime diapers (never know if you will be stuck in traffic and can't change their little bums!) And I am so freaking clever and awesome at saving space, I take one of their beach pails and fill it with snacks and those healthy and disgusting juice boxes for kids. Oh and did I mention that one of those snacks is POUCHES OF ORGANIC GREEK YOGURT! Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop and let that soak in for a moment. Pouches as in travel friendly! Organic as in superior healthiness and a little snobby! Greek yogurt as in double the protein so my brillant little babies to grow big and strong. Those suckers were on sale too! What? Me, mom of the year? A parade in my honor? I'm so embarrassed and modest to agree, but I am too nice to say no! Okay, back to traveling. The DVD players are ready to go for emergancy, certainly not the whole trip! That would rot their brains! Who's crying? Oh sweetie, it's okay. Here, have a new toy from my conviently placed bag of toys. Don't like that one? We don't throw! Here how about this one? Don't have a meltdown! Mommy is here to entertain you!
Home or Heaven (somebody kill me now!):
Crap! We are leaving tomorrow! Let me sweep through our room and shove everything into the suitcases. Do we have everything? I hope so cause we are just gonna have to learn to live without, if not! Everything is stuffed into the car. Somebody turn on those DVD players! The kids aren't even in the car yet? I don't care! Get them fired up! Mama needs a break! You're hungry!?! Shoot, I really hope that there are some gold fish buried in the bottom of the diaper bag! I think Nathan spilled some in there at Church a couple of months ago. Can you have some candy? No, it's still morning! After 5 minutes and hearing "Are we there yet?" 25 times, I hand over the candy and tell them to chew slowly!! Don't judge! They can't tell time! Oh, you need a toy, I have NO idea where the bag is! Take this awesome empty water bottle! Are the kids having meltdowns? Probably, but I've gone to my happy place. I am back at the beach only someone is rubbing sun block on my back instead of me pinning the kids down and reapplying as they wiggle away. I am also being fed fruit that i didn't have to cut up and force distracted kids to eat. Yes, of course I am talking about my husband! Who else would I be talking about? You are a sick freak! I was definitely not talking one of the Wiggles, some of whom would have the free time since they are retired. What is wrong with you? Man, you have issues! Back to the subject! You can only day dream for so long when the screaming starts to get to you. Nathan's picking his nose! That's............. Awesome!!That will give us at least 5 minutes of silence!
Oh, you are gonna cancel the parade in my honor. Yeah, that's probably for the best. I am pretty sure I was busy that day anyways.
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