When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right? Being a mom to little kids is one tough job! Full of challenges and exhaustion. Our speaker at Mops, reminded us that it won't be forever and not to lose hope as you struggle. It must have really stuck in my mind, because as things were driving me crazy, my outlook started to change.
*now before I get started, let me just say that our speaker is a wonderful, godly, sophisticated woman with lots of great advice and it's just my nutty, twisted brain that takes advice and make a weird turn
Once again Nathan had taken his diaper off when he was suppose to be napping and peed all over his mattress. As I was taking of his sheet, sanitizing, and chasing my half naked little animal, I realized something. Those diaperless adorable hiney cheeks won't last forever! One day they will be hairy man cheeks!!! One day, they will probably be exposed when he is wearing his pants too low or he is mooning his sister's friends. Suddenly, I am treasuring these tiny hiney days! This led to a whole list of things:
One day they will not screaming and crying like they are trying for an Oscar when they get a little itty bitty scrape, but then they will know that your kiss is not magical and won't cure it all
One day Nathan will stop eating parts of our home and he will be eating us out of out of house and home. Dirt and crumbs are a lot cheaper than the amount of food a teenage boy eats
Right now Syd is constantly sneaking into our room and one day she might be trying to sneak out of the house
It's frustrating when the world seems to end if you leave the room or try and do something so selfish, like pee by yourself, but one day they will probably do their best to NOT be seen with you
It will be a heck of a lot harder to settle battles over who gets the car versus the melt downs over sharing balloons. You can't just blow up another car
One day they will stop waking you up super early and you will have no good excuse for why you look haggard and tired
It makes me crazy when Syd spazzes out when I brush her hair, but one day I will have to deal with an emotional teen crying about her hair and her looks. That emotional mine field will be more challenging than just pinning her down and grabbing detangler
One day I will get to take a shower in peace and it will give time to notice just how evil gravity and time are! Having someone yell "mommy" every 5 seconds doesn't seem so bad huh??
It can be annoying never being able to listen to your music on the radio, but one day they will be older and you will look so weird going to the Wiggles concert by yourself
Have a happy Mother's day! Think positively and laugh often! Remember Hairy man cheek days are ahead, don't wish away the tiny hiney days!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Multiple Park Personalities
"Mommy, I am just going to call you that for a minute okay? Walk up to the swings and say hi to me. Pretend you don't know me!"
And so begins another episode of As the play ground turns
"Hi, I'm Ella. I am here at the park by myself because my mom is at work so she tells me to go to the park to wait for someone to come and watch me"
"I have 7 older brothers and 6 older sisters. My brothers were all embarrassed and freaking out. They wanted to dance with my sisters but they didn't want to. They were freaking out. They didn't have time. They had work to do. I was the only one who wanted to dance so I danced with my brothers one at a time. Then my sisters freaked out and it was a mess."
" Two of my sisters were adocked, Elsa and Anna, and two of my brothers were adocked too. They had a reindeer named Sven, so we have him too."
"Our parents died so we just all take care of each other. Well, actually just our dad died because he was really, really, really old but our mom is still around."
"I need to call you mommy again. Mommy, I am going to go play and fall down and pretend to cry. You, Jamie, come over and help me out. Okay? Hey Jamie, I am going to go play over here!"
So many times, I find myself wondering if I should be impressed or concerned with her imagination!! Will she become an author or actress? Or will she be the weird kid psychologists study? I have been told that she acts a lot like me so I guess I should.... not worry???
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Rock a bye, baby boy
Two nights ago as I finally started falling asleep around midnight, I heard Nathan screaming. I quick jumped up because that kid could wake the dead. Seriously, when God created that little boy he turned the volume control way past the normal setting. Anyway, I found him sitting up in his bed, looking completely out of it. It was probably a nightmare so I scooped him up and sat in the rocking chair. I loved that he closed his eyes and snuggled right up to me. I rocked him for a while and enjoyed his adorable little snore. As soon as he was really out, I moved like a ninja and settled him back into his crib and left the room so I could get some much needed sleep.
Before I even reached my bedroom door, I heard him crying my name. Back I went and I was feeling a little annoyed because I just wanted to sleep ( insert whiny voice here) and scooped him up again. He was more awake this time and watched me. He started running his fingers through my hair, which was something both kids did when they were babies to soothe themselves to sleep. He looked up at my hair, smiled a sleepy smile, and said, "pretty!" What is it about little boys that just completely melts your heart?
I decided to just savor this moment. I knew I'd have plenty of of time to sleep when he's older and too cool to cuddle. I knew that the days of him wanting to sit on my lap and have me kiss his boo boos were limited. I just rocked him and watched him fighting falling alseep. His eyes lids kept drooping and then he would pop them open. Finally, they were just open a crack. I just sat their adoring him. I kept thinking about his incredible sense of humor, his fearlessness, how he loves to be held, and his cheesy little smile. I was having a mushy mommy moments and gave him a kiss. I thought he was asleep because he didn't move a muscle, but I heard a faint whisper. I kissed him again. His eyes were still almost completely closed, but I heard the whisper again. I kissed him again and still couldn't hear what he said but knew he was saying the same thing over again. I tried one more time and put my ear so close to his little lips after I kissed him. I felt his little baby breath tickle my ear as my precious baby boy whispered, "ewwwww"
Yeah, I guess those days are coming sooner than I thought! I almost tossed that little punk back in his crib!
Before I even reached my bedroom door, I heard him crying my name. Back I went and I was feeling a little annoyed because I just wanted to sleep ( insert whiny voice here) and scooped him up again. He was more awake this time and watched me. He started running his fingers through my hair, which was something both kids did when they were babies to soothe themselves to sleep. He looked up at my hair, smiled a sleepy smile, and said, "pretty!" What is it about little boys that just completely melts your heart?
I decided to just savor this moment. I knew I'd have plenty of of time to sleep when he's older and too cool to cuddle. I knew that the days of him wanting to sit on my lap and have me kiss his boo boos were limited. I just rocked him and watched him fighting falling alseep. His eyes lids kept drooping and then he would pop them open. Finally, they were just open a crack. I just sat their adoring him. I kept thinking about his incredible sense of humor, his fearlessness, how he loves to be held, and his cheesy little smile. I was having a mushy mommy moments and gave him a kiss. I thought he was asleep because he didn't move a muscle, but I heard a faint whisper. I kissed him again. His eyes were still almost completely closed, but I heard the whisper again. I kissed him again and still couldn't hear what he said but knew he was saying the same thing over again. I tried one more time and put my ear so close to his little lips after I kissed him. I felt his little baby breath tickle my ear as my precious baby boy whispered, "ewwwww"
Yeah, I guess those days are coming sooner than I thought! I almost tossed that little punk back in his crib!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
my personal bubble
Sometimes I just want to jump up and down on the couch, throw my hands up in the air and scream
EVERYONE STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!
Now let me explain before you decide I am some cold hearted monster! I LOVE snuggling with my kids! It's the best when they curl up in your lap. I give my kids too many kisses because I know that one day they will hate it and won't let me. Scared and want to sleep next to me? I don't care if I have two inches of space on the mattress and my neck is at a 45 degree angle. Have to sit on my lap while I pee? I am not paying for the therapy they will need later, but I just sigh and say ok. When Nathan just HAS to be held in the grocery store, I hold him and steer the stupid cart one handed. It's like driving a tractor trailer with your feet, but I just roll with it. When I had to hold Syd when she napped, my arm would fall asleep, then hurt, then feel absolutely nothing, and then pain again, but I would push through for her. When they treat Mommy like their own personal jungle gym, I want to go crazy!
Sometimes I am just sitting or kneeling trying to do something and it's like kids are falling from the sky. They are on my head pinning my chin to my chest and forcing to balance them so they don't fall. They also throw themselves over my shoulder, nearly knocking me over. Other times they are spun around in my lap and feet are hitting me in the face and knees and elbows are jabbing random organs. The worst is when they push the back of their heads into my face. My glasses are all crooked and this close to becoming contacts and my nose is completely flat. They do it all the time!!!!
They also have that crazy kiddo martial arts move that I call the rolling heel of death. They walk and/or climb on you and their heel slips and rolls over your bones, pinning and pinching any flab to the floor. It's especially effective with the underside of your arms and legs! And they have selective hearing when you tell them to get off. Either that or the shooting pain causes you to speak in tongues.
Another move that practically causes my eye is twitch is the lunch time lap move. I finally sit down with my lunch after customizing everyone's menu and they both have to sit in my lap. No, it's not cute and no, it's not because they love me! It's a power struggle and I am just a pawn in their game. If one makes a move, the other has to follow. Suddenly, I am balancing a wiggly kid on both knees. I am MILES away from my food. Half of it falls off the long journey from the plate, through the jabbing shoulder valley, and onto the floor. A girl can only overlook so many cat hairs and play dough bits stuck on her food.
While we are talking about meals, let's talk about trying to make dinner. Nathan will always be busy playing and not give two craps about me, until he senses a disturbance in the force. I am about to make dinner. He becomes the most needy kid on the planet and clings to me as if his life depends upon it. There is no reasoning with him and no way to peel him off. He grabs my legs so tightly that my pants start falling down. Now I have to decide between keeping dinner from burning and having my granny panties exposed (yeah, that's what you wear when you are a mom in sweat pants at home all day!)
Okay vent over! I love them to death even if they leave me with bruises and a possible broken nose ;)
EVERYONE STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!
Now let me explain before you decide I am some cold hearted monster! I LOVE snuggling with my kids! It's the best when they curl up in your lap. I give my kids too many kisses because I know that one day they will hate it and won't let me. Scared and want to sleep next to me? I don't care if I have two inches of space on the mattress and my neck is at a 45 degree angle. Have to sit on my lap while I pee? I am not paying for the therapy they will need later, but I just sigh and say ok. When Nathan just HAS to be held in the grocery store, I hold him and steer the stupid cart one handed. It's like driving a tractor trailer with your feet, but I just roll with it. When I had to hold Syd when she napped, my arm would fall asleep, then hurt, then feel absolutely nothing, and then pain again, but I would push through for her. When they treat Mommy like their own personal jungle gym, I want to go crazy!
Sometimes I am just sitting or kneeling trying to do something and it's like kids are falling from the sky. They are on my head pinning my chin to my chest and forcing to balance them so they don't fall. They also throw themselves over my shoulder, nearly knocking me over. Other times they are spun around in my lap and feet are hitting me in the face and knees and elbows are jabbing random organs. The worst is when they push the back of their heads into my face. My glasses are all crooked and this close to becoming contacts and my nose is completely flat. They do it all the time!!!!
They also have that crazy kiddo martial arts move that I call the rolling heel of death. They walk and/or climb on you and their heel slips and rolls over your bones, pinning and pinching any flab to the floor. It's especially effective with the underside of your arms and legs! And they have selective hearing when you tell them to get off. Either that or the shooting pain causes you to speak in tongues.
Another move that practically causes my eye is twitch is the lunch time lap move. I finally sit down with my lunch after customizing everyone's menu and they both have to sit in my lap. No, it's not cute and no, it's not because they love me! It's a power struggle and I am just a pawn in their game. If one makes a move, the other has to follow. Suddenly, I am balancing a wiggly kid on both knees. I am MILES away from my food. Half of it falls off the long journey from the plate, through the jabbing shoulder valley, and onto the floor. A girl can only overlook so many cat hairs and play dough bits stuck on her food.
While we are talking about meals, let's talk about trying to make dinner. Nathan will always be busy playing and not give two craps about me, until he senses a disturbance in the force. I am about to make dinner. He becomes the most needy kid on the planet and clings to me as if his life depends upon it. There is no reasoning with him and no way to peel him off. He grabs my legs so tightly that my pants start falling down. Now I have to decide between keeping dinner from burning and having my granny panties exposed (yeah, that's what you wear when you are a mom in sweat pants at home all day!)
Okay vent over! I love them to death even if they leave me with bruises and a possible broken nose ;)
Monday, March 17, 2014
Outbreak
Twas the night before Church
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
oh crap!
What was that?
I heard something that I imagine is what Hell hounds sound like followed by crying! Nathan threw up! After two rounds of scrubbing down and outfit changes, we were wide awake and miserable. We decided to snuggle up on the couch and watch tv.
Every time the poor kid barfed into a bucket, I cheered and clapped and told him good job! I had to make sure that he knew that the vomiting protocol was to up chuck in a bucket and/or toilet and not on mommy (which Syd seems to believe!) After each ridiculous shower of praise, gave me quite the look. If that kid knew profanity, I am pretty sure he would have made a sailor blush with his thoughts on my "great job, buddy!"
About two hours into our all night Bubble Guppies marathon, my mind started to wander. It thought about every toddler kiss, every bite of his lunch that I couldn't let go to waste, and every boogie and wad of gum that was deposited into my hand. Suddenly I was drowning in sess pool of germs and it was only a matter of time before..... Insert shuddering and sounds of impending doom!
On Sunday I was fine. Monday I was feeling a little off. I was sitting there giving the kids a bath, I kinda started feeling worse. I texted Stephen to give him a heads up and he told me to call him if I need him. About 20 minutes later I called him home. I had started chanting "you are not getting sick" over and over but no one was listening. I WAS SICK! Nathan ran off as soon as I got him out of the tub and was jumping on my bed. I couldn't move fast enough to catch him, so I stood there doing Lamaze breathing to fight off nausea while he was flopping his junk all over my pillow and waited for him to slow down.
The first thing Stephen said when he saw me was "you don't look good" and then he took the kids down stairs. As soon as they were out of sight, I gave up the battle. Let's just say that those healthy cereals that you pretend taste good, well there is NO pretending the second time you taste them. I don't think I have been that sick since I was a kid.
Stephen did an awesome job taking care of the kids and answering all my texts. He brought me ginger ale and crackers and then went to the store to get me Popsicles when I asked. All I could do is lay in bed and not move an inch. That is probably why I felt so achy and sore. By 4:30, I couldn't take it. I had to soak in the tub and relax my muscles. Now, I am not a diva, I swear! But I couldn't get the water hot enough, so while Stephen was feeding the kids dinner, I had him boiling a large pot of water to warm my bath.
By the end of the night I was feeling much better and was happily sleeping away. Some where in my dream, I heard a faint whisper of "Mommy!" But my dream was too good, I didn't want to wake up. The whisper was louder and louder until it was yelling and feet scampering across the floor. The final battle cry and sound of someone puking on my bed, got me up (so long Wiggles, It was fun hanging out with you in my dreams!) Sydney became victim number 3 at 3am. Surprisingly, she was the least sick and after a long nap, she was back to herself.
Stephen had still escaped the plague, so Wednesday morning I sanitized the house. I wiped/sprayed everything in the house. The Lysol was so thick in the air, you could probably cut it with a knife. In fact I think I can still taste it (a week later) after walking through cloud after cloud of spray that day. I wanted us decontaminated because we had plans to visit my niece and nephew that weekend and I did not want to miss it.
Friday night, we had just about everything packed up and ready to go for our trip the next day and Stephen was feeling kinda weird. Just when he thought he was safe, he became victim number 4. And I was the doting wife who took care of him, right? Umm, I asked if he needed anything and then made sure he stayed away from our stuff. Then 7am the next day, I asked if he was okay and needed anything. Then I called out "bye babe, feel better" and I started loading up the kids for our fun weekend. I think I might have told him to make sure he sprayed down the house when he felt better too. Wife of the year, for sure!
Note from the editor (Stephen)
When I am sick, I never want to hear Jamie call it a "Man Cold" again. Ever... then we'll call it even.
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
oh crap!
What was that?
I heard something that I imagine is what Hell hounds sound like followed by crying! Nathan threw up! After two rounds of scrubbing down and outfit changes, we were wide awake and miserable. We decided to snuggle up on the couch and watch tv.
Every time the poor kid barfed into a bucket, I cheered and clapped and told him good job! I had to make sure that he knew that the vomiting protocol was to up chuck in a bucket and/or toilet and not on mommy (which Syd seems to believe!) After each ridiculous shower of praise, gave me quite the look. If that kid knew profanity, I am pretty sure he would have made a sailor blush with his thoughts on my "great job, buddy!"
About two hours into our all night Bubble Guppies marathon, my mind started to wander. It thought about every toddler kiss, every bite of his lunch that I couldn't let go to waste, and every boogie and wad of gum that was deposited into my hand. Suddenly I was drowning in sess pool of germs and it was only a matter of time before..... Insert shuddering and sounds of impending doom!
On Sunday I was fine. Monday I was feeling a little off. I was sitting there giving the kids a bath, I kinda started feeling worse. I texted Stephen to give him a heads up and he told me to call him if I need him. About 20 minutes later I called him home. I had started chanting "you are not getting sick" over and over but no one was listening. I WAS SICK! Nathan ran off as soon as I got him out of the tub and was jumping on my bed. I couldn't move fast enough to catch him, so I stood there doing Lamaze breathing to fight off nausea while he was flopping his junk all over my pillow and waited for him to slow down.
The first thing Stephen said when he saw me was "you don't look good" and then he took the kids down stairs. As soon as they were out of sight, I gave up the battle. Let's just say that those healthy cereals that you pretend taste good, well there is NO pretending the second time you taste them. I don't think I have been that sick since I was a kid.
Stephen did an awesome job taking care of the kids and answering all my texts. He brought me ginger ale and crackers and then went to the store to get me Popsicles when I asked. All I could do is lay in bed and not move an inch. That is probably why I felt so achy and sore. By 4:30, I couldn't take it. I had to soak in the tub and relax my muscles. Now, I am not a diva, I swear! But I couldn't get the water hot enough, so while Stephen was feeding the kids dinner, I had him boiling a large pot of water to warm my bath.
By the end of the night I was feeling much better and was happily sleeping away. Some where in my dream, I heard a faint whisper of "Mommy!" But my dream was too good, I didn't want to wake up. The whisper was louder and louder until it was yelling and feet scampering across the floor. The final battle cry and sound of someone puking on my bed, got me up (so long Wiggles, It was fun hanging out with you in my dreams!) Sydney became victim number 3 at 3am. Surprisingly, she was the least sick and after a long nap, she was back to herself.
Stephen had still escaped the plague, so Wednesday morning I sanitized the house. I wiped/sprayed everything in the house. The Lysol was so thick in the air, you could probably cut it with a knife. In fact I think I can still taste it (a week later) after walking through cloud after cloud of spray that day. I wanted us decontaminated because we had plans to visit my niece and nephew that weekend and I did not want to miss it.
Friday night, we had just about everything packed up and ready to go for our trip the next day and Stephen was feeling kinda weird. Just when he thought he was safe, he became victim number 4. And I was the doting wife who took care of him, right? Umm, I asked if he needed anything and then made sure he stayed away from our stuff. Then 7am the next day, I asked if he was okay and needed anything. Then I called out "bye babe, feel better" and I started loading up the kids for our fun weekend. I think I might have told him to make sure he sprayed down the house when he felt better too. Wife of the year, for sure!
Note from the editor (Stephen)
When I am sick, I never want to hear Jamie call it a "Man Cold" again. Ever... then we'll call it even.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Smokin Hot Banana Tarts
So this was suppose to be for Valentines day, but computer difficulties and mental anguish from so much freaking snow have delayed it. Here is a little something from before Stephen and I were dating. I can't believe that I am sharing this! So much for letting you think that motherhood has made my life this crazy.
What's a girl to do when she has a crush on someone but she is too awkward and shy to make a move. She convinces her parents to get a new computer so he can come over and set it up for them. Stop laughing at me! I know I am such a dork! I wasn't very bold back then! And don't feel bad for my parents! Their computer was ancient and they still have this one so I'd say they got their money's worth!
Anyways, the day he was coming over, I needed to make banana tarts for a Church dinner that night. It was a perfect opportunity to show off those newly acquired pastry chef skills. (Such false advertisement! He gets squat now! I kinda feel guilty about it) He came over and starting working in the family room that is right next to the kitchen. I threw the tart shell into the oven to partially bake and started chatting with Stephen. After a few minutes, I went to check the oven. Oops! For some strange reason, I didn't put the tart pan on a sheet tray. It was one of those pans where the bottom pops out and I heard a drop of butter slip through the crack and onto the bottom of the oven. Well, it can't be that much so it should be fine. CURSE YOU, RESTAURANT SCHOOL PATE SUCREE RECIPE! About 5 minutes later I detect the hint of something burning! I start to open the door and a little bit of smoke comes out! I quickly slam the door and have a silent freak out. Lots of butter melted out and dripped to the bottom of the oven. My mom came in and saw the wild look in my eyes and I explained the situation as quietly as I could. The tart only had a few minutes left and we figured that if we turned the exhaust fan on high, it would be OK! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Like 2 minutes later the smoke detectors go off. How freaking embarrassing!! There I was standing on a chair flapping my arms like an idiot to get it to go off.
Now at this point a normal person would call it a day and pick up something on the way to dinner, but not this idiot! I had to keep going! The only problem was that there was all this burnt butter on the bottom of the oven. The oven was still so hot and for whatever reason I couldn't wait. My dad saved the day by volunteering to clean it. He had to wear these huge welding gloves. It was insane! Of course Stephen was so distracted by the chaos that he had to come over to watch. What a way to make an impression!
After everyone got there jokes in, I finished assembling the tart, grabbed a sheet tray because I learned my lesson, right !?! Here is where I would like to say that I redeemed myself and got to chat it up with Stephen, amazed him with my baking skills, and banana tarts are his favorite to this day. But this is me we are talking about! When life hands me a lemon, I gotta go back and get grab enough lemons so the whole world can enjoy some lemonade at my expense. I, being the biggest stupid idiot on the planet, put the darn tart on a sheet with no sides on it! Of course the filling oozed out and rolled straight off the edge and burned like it was it's job. The smoke levels were off the charts. I just had to finish this stupid thing because despite the burning all around it, the tart itself was baking beautifully!
Let's draw a little mental picture here. Laying on the kitchen table are the huge welder gloves. Hanging from the ceiling are detached smoked detectors. You can hear the loud hum of fans were placed at the open front and back doors ( My dad is a super genius problem solver). Unfortunately, they work well but can't keep up because smoke was so thick that I can only make out the fuzzy edges of the outline of the dog. (You think that I am making it up, but I am as serious as a heart attack!) Stephen's eyes are blood shot and burning from all the smoke. I have a case of what I like to call the nervous sweats and I feel like my face is on fire. How did I not die on the spot!
The rest of the details are a little fuzzy, but I know the tart came out fine. And I really can't believe that I was surprised that I couldn't convince him to come to the Church dinner so he could try that tart!
What's a girl to do when she has a crush on someone but she is too awkward and shy to make a move. She convinces her parents to get a new computer so he can come over and set it up for them. Stop laughing at me! I know I am such a dork! I wasn't very bold back then! And don't feel bad for my parents! Their computer was ancient and they still have this one so I'd say they got their money's worth!
Anyways, the day he was coming over, I needed to make banana tarts for a Church dinner that night. It was a perfect opportunity to show off those newly acquired pastry chef skills. (Such false advertisement! He gets squat now! I kinda feel guilty about it) He came over and starting working in the family room that is right next to the kitchen. I threw the tart shell into the oven to partially bake and started chatting with Stephen. After a few minutes, I went to check the oven. Oops! For some strange reason, I didn't put the tart pan on a sheet tray. It was one of those pans where the bottom pops out and I heard a drop of butter slip through the crack and onto the bottom of the oven. Well, it can't be that much so it should be fine. CURSE YOU, RESTAURANT SCHOOL PATE SUCREE RECIPE! About 5 minutes later I detect the hint of something burning! I start to open the door and a little bit of smoke comes out! I quickly slam the door and have a silent freak out. Lots of butter melted out and dripped to the bottom of the oven. My mom came in and saw the wild look in my eyes and I explained the situation as quietly as I could. The tart only had a few minutes left and we figured that if we turned the exhaust fan on high, it would be OK! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Like 2 minutes later the smoke detectors go off. How freaking embarrassing!! There I was standing on a chair flapping my arms like an idiot to get it to go off.
Now at this point a normal person would call it a day and pick up something on the way to dinner, but not this idiot! I had to keep going! The only problem was that there was all this burnt butter on the bottom of the oven. The oven was still so hot and for whatever reason I couldn't wait. My dad saved the day by volunteering to clean it. He had to wear these huge welding gloves. It was insane! Of course Stephen was so distracted by the chaos that he had to come over to watch. What a way to make an impression!
After everyone got there jokes in, I finished assembling the tart, grabbed a sheet tray because I learned my lesson, right !?! Here is where I would like to say that I redeemed myself and got to chat it up with Stephen, amazed him with my baking skills, and banana tarts are his favorite to this day. But this is me we are talking about! When life hands me a lemon, I gotta go back and get grab enough lemons so the whole world can enjoy some lemonade at my expense. I, being the biggest stupid idiot on the planet, put the darn tart on a sheet with no sides on it! Of course the filling oozed out and rolled straight off the edge and burned like it was it's job. The smoke levels were off the charts. I just had to finish this stupid thing because despite the burning all around it, the tart itself was baking beautifully!
Let's draw a little mental picture here. Laying on the kitchen table are the huge welder gloves. Hanging from the ceiling are detached smoked detectors. You can hear the loud hum of fans were placed at the open front and back doors ( My dad is a super genius problem solver). Unfortunately, they work well but can't keep up because smoke was so thick that I can only make out the fuzzy edges of the outline of the dog. (You think that I am making it up, but I am as serious as a heart attack!) Stephen's eyes are blood shot and burning from all the smoke. I have a case of what I like to call the nervous sweats and I feel like my face is on fire. How did I not die on the spot!
The rest of the details are a little fuzzy, but I know the tart came out fine. And I really can't believe that I was surprised that I couldn't convince him to come to the Church dinner so he could try that tart!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
There are no words!
It was just a typical night of playing with Barbies with Sydney. I was playing the Mommy and the Daddy (anyone else find the version of Ken disturbing!?!) and things got a little weird. It's left me speechless!! She told the mommy barbie that Cinderella was very sick and needed to go to the hospital. Syd was so adorable! They were sitting in the waiting room and she played the nurse. She had the nurse come,just like the nurses at the doctors office, and gently led Mommy Barbie and Cinderella down a long hall to a room. Then she played Doctor Barbie and asked "How is my patient today?" "How is she feeling?" How old is the patient?" Then she tells Mommy Barbie "I am not sure if she is really sick or if something is just stuck in her butt?" SAY WHAT? "Oh yes, here you go sweetie, you had a pretzel stick in your hiney." WHERE DOES SHE GET THIS STUFF!!!!! What in the world? I know she didn't see anything like that on Cat in the Hat or Ready, Steady Wiggles. While we do have a book that makes all different animal fart sounds, we do not have about strange GI cases in the ER!!! Is she hanging out in a doctors' lounge in the middle of the night?
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