The process of doing laundry when you absolutely hate it

See that it's time to do laundry and put it off for another day
Put it off for one more day
Promise yourself that you'll do it tomorrow
Put it off for one more day
Open your underwear drawer and realize that all you have left is that pair that causes a wedgie so fierce that you regret the day you were born (but you keep it for emergencies like this)
Throw a load of wash into the machine
Spend the day hating everything and everybody
Remember to throw the wash in the dryer right after you get perfectly comfortable in bed
Pull out a clean pair of underwear in the morning and leave the rest in the dryer
Gain a whole new positive outlook on life as you walk around in comfort
Leave the clean clothes in the dryer again
Pull out outfits for the kids
Three days later, empty the dryer
Strategically place the hamper full of unfolded clean clothes near your husband's side of the bed
Return home from work late at night and trip over the hamper of unfolded clothes that magically moved
Ignore the hamper for 3 more days except for occasional sock searches
Get sick of walking around pile of dirty laundry waiting for occupied hamper and dump clean unfolded  
     clothes on your husband's side of the bed
Find unfolded clothes all over your side of the bed after you put the kids to sleep
Push all the clothes in a pile on the floor except for your ugliest, frumpiest PJs. YOU'RE WEARING THEM
     TO BED TONIGHT! thinks he can pass off the laundry after I pass it off to him
Avoid eye contact with pile of laundry for a day
Start folding and give up a quarter of the way through and vow to finish before bed
Look at the piles and decide you don't have the strength to fold anymore
Place piles neatly on the floor and go to bed
Listen to your children walking through the piles as they wake you up at the crack of dawn the next morning
Decide that today is the day you tackle the laundry like a true adult
Spend an hour mentally preparing yourself
Walk around saying "I should really start folding the laundry" to no one in particular repeatedly
Make a large cup of coffee and turn on your favorite TV show
Sigh
Whine
Fold one shirt
Sigh
Fold two more shirts
Sigh
Check Facebook
Sigh
Fold again
Check Facebook
Sigh
Fold again
Sigh
Check Facebook and wish you had more interesting friends  (SORRY GUYS! JUST KIDDING!)
Buckle down and fold half of it
Decide to celebrate all your progress with a treat
Grab some ice cream and decide to take a break because a calorie splurge deserves your FULL attention
Return to folding three hours later
Sigh
Seriously consider becoming a nudist
Catch reflection in the mirror and NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! Nudist colony not an option!
Sigh
Fold a few things
Check Facebook
Text a friend "Laundry is the worst!"
Sigh
Fold a shirt
Reply to friends text with "I know, right!?!"
Finish folding
Leave hamper of newly folded clothes in the living room
Move it to the stairs 
Walk by it all day
Write a blog about laundry to avoid putting clothes away

*disclaimer* Stephen does his own laundry and folds better than I do when I ask him to fold our laundry like an adult and not a passive aggressive crazy wife ;)

Understanding your child's hunger

Just a few things that I've discovered along the way. All subject to change as soon as you've figured it out and planned accordingly


Times your child is not hungry:

*When you say it's time for breakfast, lunch, or dinner

*When you have made something for their sibling to eat

*When you say "I'm about to [insert task like shower, work out, make phone call]. Do you want something to eat for I start?"

* When the pantry is bursting with their favorite snacks

* When you take them to an all you can eat buffet (like Shady Maple)

* 30 minutes before you have to be somewhere

* When you felt inspired (or guilty and wanted to prove that you aren't always a hot mess) and spent hours searching Pinterest and found a how to guide for folding apple slices into origami woodland creatures. Then clicked on the link to directions on making all natural food dye from local fruits and veggies and tears from free range unicorns (gathered with a cruelty free method)
  


Times when your child will be STARVING:


* 2 minutes and 15 seconds after you have given up and thrown out their meal or if it's dinner, 2 minutes and 15 seconds before bedtime

* 10 minutes after you made their sibling something to eat and put it all away

* 2 minutes into your shower or 8 minutes into your work out when you just get your heart rate up or only 1/3 of the way through your reps

* When you should have gone grocery shopping four days ago and you finally gave away the surplus of their favorite snack that they claimed they didn't like anymore

* When you are driving home from the special all you can eat buffet and stopped at rest stop where a cheese stick is $12 and candy is a plenty

* 30 seconds after you yell, "GO! GO! GO! We're gonna be late! We gotta get in the car!"

* When all the perfect moms are at the park and you ran out the door without snacks. The kids whine as loudly as possible and your only option is that mystery sandwich bag of snack bits buried in your diaper bag. Wait, is that mold? Wait, no, they're choc chips. WAIT! When the heck was the last time I bought those? Aren't they a special limited edition flavor from last year? I think all the moms are looking at me. Even the kids are looking at my kids with sympathy as they eat their snacks that coordinate with the theme their trendy designer clothes.